second pass

Just finished my second editing pass on the first 19,500 words of “Vine” — which, by the way, were just under 24,000 words in the first draft. So, making good headway here as I carve away unnecessary exposition and (hopefully) turn “tell” into “show.”

I did take a little break for a while during the last 2 weeks because of work and, well, being tired of looking at the same names: Jason, Annie, and Rafe. Plus, I wanted to finish my outline for “3F.” It’s still YA, but so different from “Vine.” For one thing, it’s a space opera.

3,000 words and counting

Just compared my edited document to the first draft of “Vine.” I’ve sliced just over 3,000 words so far. And I’m not even halfway done with my edits. I’ve maintained a separate document called “Cut Scenes” where I paste the major blocks of text I strip out. Pulling them out of the first draft killed me. But when I look at them over there away from the story, I can totally see why they needed to be sliced. The story moves at a much better pace without them.

economics

One thing I’ve really found while editing is that I was super-indulgent in the first half of my manuscript — particularly the first ten chapters. Wow, did I ever over-write. However, though I’ve been stripping sentences out whole, the excess text has been helpful. As I edit descriptive grafs down into two-three sentences or fusing the details into a line of dialog, it’s helpful just to have the info right there.

Things are still going well with editing, but here’s another confession: I thought editing would be a breeze compared to writing the first draft. False. There is an artistry to editing that I have great appreciation for now. I’m not saying I’m an artist while doing this. Far from it. But if I ever do have an editor work on a book for me one day, I’ll be both quick and sincere with my thanks.

editing

So yeah. I’ve completed the first round of general edits, splashing a fair amount of red ink on the printed out manuscript. But as I’ve made the edits to the actual text in Word, I find myself doing almost a v.2.1 edit as I change things I see on the fly, such as an unnecessary passive verb (ugh, the dreaded “was”) or a line of description that’s twice as long as it needs to be.

I’ve also deleted a lot of words in just the first five chapters. Before I got started, I was just under 85,000. But I’ve killed off 700+ words so far. I’m curious to see the final count for the second draft and how far I dip below 80,000. I do have a scene to add, though. But I don’t see these deletions as lost ground. The goal is always leaner, tighter. Show, don’t tell. Especially in YA.

i have achieved first draft

So, yeah. I did kind of fall off with the regular updates, but to be fair, it wasn’t like I stopped writing. I just stopped doing it here. But tonight, I celebrate the 84,237 words that make up the first draft of “Vine.”

Of course, now the serious work starts. To finish the first draft, I put on blinders and raced forward, working from character sketches and an outline, but allowing myself to go where the story took me. That made for some fun surprises on this side of the screen, but also some plot issues on the other. I have a lot of editing to do. I suspect I will lose at least 7,500 words as I cut unnecessary stuff, but who knows what I will gain as I add the scenes and set-ups that support the new things I came up with on the fly.

But this is the most effort I have ever sunk into a single project. More than any script. And so I won’t let this go. I really like spending time with these characters, especially Jason, who admittedly was an occasional surrogate, especially when I mined some very personal memories of high school to make his situation feel more real.

But right now, I think I’ll go hang out a little. Maybe play a game for fun. And then tomorrow night, after wrapping up work, I’ll give my red pen a real workout.

something from chapter twenty-nine

I’ve been really remiss on posting snippets, but I’m at a point where too much would be given away by tossing up the usual four or five grafs. I have just three chapters left before I actually do something I’ve always wanted: write a book. So, I’ll just have to pull something out of 29 that is somewhat obscure.

———

“Hey,” Jason said as he dropped into the seat next to Annie.

Unexpectedly, Annie took Jason’s hand. Jason looked around the auditorium for a moment, checking for any sort of reaction. There was none.

“We’re not invisible, are we?” he asked.

“No, I just wanted to hold your hand. I hope that’s okay.”

something from chapter twenty-one

There was no mistaking the Pearl Tower. As Annie drove across the river into downtown Portland, the lighted spire atop the tower poked above the skyline. While she searched out a parking space, Jason leaned against the window, looking at the tower with a fresh, urgent perspective. Every detail of the tower – the gleaming swaths of windows that reflected the twinkling downtown lights, the ivy snaking up the first floor, the heavenward spire – took on new properties. No longer was this just the biggest building in Portland; it was now something potentially sinister, a focal point in whatever plot the Vines were preparing to unleash.

After Annie parked the car, Jason followed her to the front door of the tower. Before Annie pressed the call box to ring Rafe, Jason put his hand over it to stop her.

“What if the mayor is home?”

“So what if he is? He lives here,” Annie said.

“I can’t really snoop around that much if Rafe’s dad is around.”

“Well, you can’t be obvious about it, no. But hey, we both know you can be pretty inconspicuous when you want to be.”

“It would probably help if I could turn invisible,” he said.

“Well, unless you want to sit on the couch and cuddle with Rafe…”

“Inconspicuous it is,” Jason interrupted.

Jason removed his hand and Annie tapped a number into the pad on the front of the call box. Rafe immediately answered and buzzed open the front door of the tower. He also told them he would unlock the elevator, which would otherwise not travel up to the top floor of the tower.

Annie and Jason rode the elevator in uneasy silence. Jason could tell Annie was looking forward to this, but not for the same reasons. He wanted to investigate the penthouse and hopefully discover another clue as to the true purpose of “Wuthering Heights” and the Vines’ involvement. She wanted to spend time with Rafe. Jason was just starting to get used to the idea of them together, but that was primarily because he didn’t actually have to see it. Tonight, it would be right in front of his face and he’d have to deal with it as best as he could. That was the price of his subterfuge.